Poop Explosion

I’m having to re-learn diaper changing now that we have a baby boy. For the first couple weeks, almost anytime I changed his diaper I would end up with pee all over me, the changing table and sometimes the wall and carpet too. Just when I thought I had a good system going and stopped getting pee all over the place, my son throws in the exploding poop.

This afternoon we were getting ready to go up and visit Ryan at work, it was late in the day, 4:20ish, when all this happened. I had changed Adrianne’s diaper and got her shoes on her and had her in the kitchen ready to go. I had fed Emery, changed his diaper, got the diaper bag packed and was just getting ready to put him in his carrier when he crapped his pants. Not just any normal baby poop, no, the kind that tests the limits of that tiny diaper he’s wearing. I took him in, laid him on the changing table and waited a few minutes just to make sure he was done. At this time Adrianne came in to see what we were doing and why we weren’t leaving yet. I told her it would be a couple minutes so she pulled a toy off the shelf and played while she waited. It had been a few minutes with no more poo, so I started to change his diaper. This is when the EXPLOSION happened… not seconds after I opened his diaper we had poop shooting out and poor Adri had sat down in the wrong spot. She started screaming and when I looked down had poop up and down both her arms, in her hair and there was a huge spot of it on the carpet. The poor girl was hysterical. Of course this is when my son decides to start peeing so in addition to the poop that is literally everywhere, we have pee spraying all over the place too. At this point, I’ve got poop and pee on me too, Adrianne is sobbing and I just start laughing because that is all you can do when something this crappy happens. Adrianne looks at me and says, it’s not funny, Mommy! and I just laugh some more. I have this huge mess and decide there is really no way we are going to make it to Ryan’s work before it’s time to come home so I tell Adrianne we’ll go visit Daddy at work tomorrow. She was so upset and started crying more because she wanted to go see Daddy. So I grab the baby wipes and do the best job cleaning up I could and we packed up the car and made it to Daddy’s work (across town) by 4:50. The whole time we were there I was hoping no one would get too close because I was sure we all still smelled like baby poo. When we walked out, I even saw a little speck of it on Adri’s shirt. Geez, what a good mother I am.